Kentucky Fried Horses
A hoser horse won the 138th running of the Kentucky Derby back on Saturday. That’s where a bunch of men in Colonel Sanders outfits and ladies with big honkin’ hats get liquored on mint juleps all day long to prepare for a two minute horse race. I’ll Have Another caught up to Bodemeister down the stretch to win the Derby. Not a bad payoff at 13 to one.
Some of the other horses in the race included Daddy Long Legs, Daddy Nose Best and Take Charge Indy. Boy, people who come up with horse names have got to be smoking crack. Your brain has to be totally warped to come up with a crazy horse name. Here are some of the silliest and goofiest horse names that have actually been registered with the Jockey Club in the States. These are all real. There’s Nut Buster, No Fat Chicks and Blow Me. Go Down, Spank It, and On Your Knees. There’s Pleasure Me, She Can’t Say No and Cherry Pop. And of course, we can’t forget about Kinky Lingerie, Rhythm Method and Bodacious Tatas. I would have loved to see then all in a race. And down the stretch they come….She Can’t Say No’s on the rail with No Fat Chicks trailing and Bodacious Tatas on the outside. Bodacious Tatas is fading, opening a hole for Nut Buster up the middle. Nut Buster is neck and neck with No Fat Chicks. And at the finish it’s Nut Buster by a nose followed by No Fat Chicks, On Your Knees and Spank It.
People who race horses are weird.