Slice My Balls
When it comes to golf an old pro once told me, ‘it’s not the arrow, its the archer.’ Essentially he was telling me it’s not my equipment that’s causing me to shank tee shots into the trees. He may have been right, but today’s technology can turn a 20 handicapper into a 15. There’s hybrid clubs, oversized heads, and graphite shafts all custom fit to the individual. On top of that, a golf company in the States has invented a godsend. It has come up with the non sliceable golf ball. That’s right, no more banana peeling into the next fairway. It’s called the Polara, and has irregular dimples which spin to counteract errors. However, it’s been banned by the USGA because it gives hackers an unfair advantage.
If they really wanted to give us duffers a hand, the ball makers should put a little microchip inside the golf ball. When it goes missing, you pull out your handy handheld GPS and instantly find it. Kind of like Boomerang for balatas. It would be easy to do, and wouldn’t affect the ball any, but we all know the golf ball companies would never go for it. No one would ever lose their balls, so there would be no need to buy any more and that just can’t happen. I don’t know how many balls I’ve lost over the years. Its well over a hundred. It’s at least 15 or 20 so far this golf season. Do the math. A box of 12 Titelist Pro V1’s will run you fifty bucks. I’ve probably spent over 300 bucks just on balls over the past five years. Would I stick a chip in my balls so I wouldn’t lose ‘em? Damn straight.