Don't Stop Believing

Posted By: Joe Cahill · 8/7/2012 11:47:00 AM

     We’re just over half way through the cockney games across the pond.   I’m sorry to have to break this to everybody, but Canada sucks.  That’s right.  You heard me.  We’re tanking.  We’ve got a grand total of 10 medals.  10.  And 6 of them are bronze, which by the way does not warrant front page coverage or the lead story on the evening news.  And of the one crappy gold we’ve got, it’s on the trampoline.  About as important as beach volleyball and ping pong as Olympic sports go.


     Hey, I want Canada to win just like you do.  The over hyped CTV mantra keeps telling us to believe.  I believe.  Yeah.  I believe Canadians are slow runners.  We’re lousy at tumbling.  We sink to the bottom of the pool, and are too short for basketball.  Unless there’s ice involved, we’re about as good as Uzbekistan.  Why do we put so much pressure on our summer athletes to perform?  Because aside from hockey and figure skating, we’re just not very good at sports.  Never have been.  Never will be.  There’s never been a world class soccer player from Canada.  Our tennis and golf pros are hacks compared to the rest of the world.  And since Canadians can’t make the NFL, we invented our own brand of football and try to pawn it off as the real thing. 


     Face it.  Canadians are good at a couple of things, but lousy at most.  Until the rest of this country faces this fact, we will only be disappointed.  If you still want to believe, knock yourself out.  Just don’t because some TV station tells you to.      

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