You Don't Bring Me Flowers
The upcoming Four Continents Championships in Japan are a final chance to see many of our figure skaters who will be competing at the world championships next month down the road in London. The spectacle of figure skating is quite impressive. And there’s no question it’s fans are loyal and boisterous, but I have a hard time accepting some of it’s intricacies. It takes a lot of skill and athleticism to negotiate a quad-triple combo lutz with a toe loop, but some of the other aspects of figure skating tarnish it’s image as sport.
Number one on the list--flowers. In no other sport do you get a handful of pansies just for completing a routine. Sidney Crosby doesn’t receive an FTD pick me up bouquet when he finishes a shift. Patrick Chan could open up his own flower shop.
Then there’s the make up. On the guys. For the life of me, I grew up with the notion that women wore the face paint. Some men even wear eyeshadow. You’re not getting style points on your complexion. It’s the same deal with those flashy, sequined studded, satiny outfits. If I wore that on the street, chances are someone would beat me up.
The parade of champions has also baffled me. That’s when all the participants have a big skating party when the competition’s over. To cavort with the audience, with an improvisational performance. If I came second, I’d be pissed, and would want to go home.
Figure skating’s a fine sport on it’s own, but all these extra cirriculars turn it into something cheap and tawdry.
It’s a lot of thrill, but too much frill.