I sure do miss the old Tiger Woods. Back in his heyday when he was bangin’ every skank on the 19th hole he was a lot more animated. When he won a tournament he’d do his patented fist pump. Scream out loud. And then hug his mom, his dad, his wife and his caddy. After Tiger won the Cadillac in Trump’s sandbox all we got was a wry smile. He hugged one person. And then a bro handshake with his caddy who proceeded to then tap him on the ass. Mr. Woods then calmly walked up to the scorer’s tent. Talk about bor-ring.
And on that final hole, Tiger’s tee shot went into the trees. His playing partner’s shot landed in the rocks next to the green. He had a couple of shot cushion, so what does Tiger do? He lays up. Really? You laid up? What’s the matter with you? The old Tiger would have blasted a low iron through the trees and rolled it up onto the green. That’s what Phil Mickelson would have done. But not the new Tiger. He’s a very prudent golfer now. He keeps his emotions in check and doesn’t take chances.
Even though it looks like Tiger is back dominating on the golf course again, at what cost? His swagger is gone. That ‘in your face’ demeanour has been replaced by a lobotomized stare. Sure, this is all the result of his wife finding out he was getting his shaft re-gripped on the road, but I miss the old Tiger Woods.
If I wanted to watch a robot golf, I’d root for Vijay Singh.